When I decided to set aside my Five for Friday series and begin a new series of posts called “Feminist Friday,” I felt really excited. Because I teach university courses in Women’s Studies (as well as English courses on female authors), this is subject matter I already spend a lot of time thinking about. It’s also one of the subjects I care about the most.
And then, almost in the same moment, I started feeling nervous. What if putting the word “feminism” out there on display makes people uncomfortable? What if I attract hoards of trolls (as I still am with this post)? What if people stop reading the blog altogether?
That right there, friends, is why feminism is so important. The very moment a woman starts thinking about using her voice on a topic which might make people a little uncomfortable, that woman starts second guessing herself. Even if that woman has a Ph.D. and knows that she knows what she’s talking about.
I laughed at myself when I realized what I was doing. It just goes to prove that no one is immune from the effects of the culture around us–and that culture is designed to make women question their own authority. No matter how many of the women in our lives try to tell us “I live my life the way I want and don’t care what anyone says about it,” I think we all know that just isn’t true. (As a very astute young woman pointed out in one of my classes, “We all say that–but then we all take off our comfy pajamas and get dressed before we walk out the door in the morning.”)
Which bringss us to one of the major myths about feminism. It’s not about saying I don’t care what people think of me. It’s not about choosing to walk around unshaven and without makeup. You can do both of those things, if you want–but they have nothing to do with whether or not you’re a feminist.
Feminism is about owning your authority. It’s about recognizing that each of us, regardless of sex or gender, has the right to make the choices that shape our lives. We might ask for input or accept advice, but ultimately, the authority to make a decision is ours alone.
At this point, you may be thinking “Women do have the right to make those decisions. They’ve had that right for a long time. That’s why feminism is irrelevant now.”
Well, I beg to differ. And that’s one of the reasons I’ll be writing these Feminist Friday posts–to explain why I think feminism is completely relevant to the lives we’re living.
- Because women doing the same jobs men are doing, with the same experience and qualifications, make roughly 20% less than their male counterparts.
- Because there are laws in the United States that control women’s bodies, but no laws that impinge on men’s bodily autonomy.
- Because women are still asked what they were wearing and what they said to cause an assault.
And because, in every one of those situations, the first response is to blame the woman in question. Why don’t you look for a better job, if you’re unhappy with your salary? Why didn’t you think about the possibility of getting pregnant before you decided to have sex? Why were you out at a bar in the first place?
Rather than asking how we might shape a world in which situations like these don’t arise in the first place (or, perhaps, arise with less frequency), our culture asks women to fix these problems.
How? By changing their behavior. By making different choices.
Feminism still exists, then, because our culture devalues women’s choices. And that happens no matter what those choices might be. For instance: if you’re an at-home mom–or a single mom making use of the public assistance you’re entitled to–you’re what sociologists and economists call a “free rider.” That term designates someone who benefits from the economy without contributing to it. And that terms tells us everything we need to know about how little the work of raising children is valued in our culture.
On the other hand, if you choose not to be a mother (or even if you wanted to, but didn’t, for whatever reason), our culture tells you that you’ve missed out on a crucial part of the human experience.
See how that works? Damned if you do, cardless on Mother’s Day if you don’t.
Yet women are told time and again that they can’t have it all. You can be a good mother or have a fulfilling career, but one or the other will certainly suffer if you try to do both. For heaven’s sake, what’s a woman supposed to do?
There is no choice safe from scrutiny, when it comes to a woman’s life–and that’s why feminism is still relevant. Until we accept the fact that women deserve the same array of choices that men have available to them, and that none of those choices comes without benefits and drawbacks, feminism will continue to be relevant.
It’s not about turning women into men–there’s difference between equality and sameness.
It’s not about disdain for men–that’s misandry, not feminism.
It’s certainly not about making yourself as visually unpleasing as possible. (But it is about giving some thought to who you’re trying to please, and how, and–most importantly–why.)
Feminism, at base, is about a woman’s right to make her own choices. That’s the boiled-down version, and it gets a lot more complicated as we think it through carefully. But if you agree with the fundamental principle that women are capable of making the decisions that affect their own lives, then I hope you’ll keep coming back for Feminist Fridays.
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